People around me, those who just got to know me, and even those who have known me for a long time, sometimes will say i'm a quiet person. The quiet type that when everyone is busy talking or when everyone is finding a chance to speak, i will just stay silent. I'll get into the conversation. But just for a few times. a little.
Because sometimes when i'm trying to be a talkative person or when i feel like i want to respond to everything that they're saying, there must be something happen. It is like, what i said will hurt someone or maybe i will say the wrong thing or maybe no one will respond to me at all (this is hurt k) but yknow there are times when the people didnt say anything that they are hurt or something, they didnt say that but it is just me who feel that way. Like, after i said something i'll be quiet for a while and i'll start thinking and at that moment i'll have so many thoughts . I'll ask myself whether the person is hurt or not, or maybe the person will think the other way, or maybe the person will think that i am like this or like that from what i said. Its just like that. Sometimes i cant stop thinking. I'll be like, quite scared that it will turn to a negative way. And that is sometimes when they know i'm quite a quiet person then there is this one moment i'll say something. And they'll be like,'ooh like seriously this person say this?!' (well i'm a human too i can say anything)
But then sometimes when i'm being a talkative one(mostly with my close friends/family) i'll not stop talking 😂
Thats why.... I'll choose to be silent most of the time. Even when i'm with the people around me. It is just.. I've nothing to say, or.. yeah i just choose to be silent. Because of the things above. But sometimes when i try to be friendly or talk they will ignore me i wanna cry 😭
And because of that, i chose to be weird.. I chose to be someone that you'll never imagine they come from me. Cause i cant stand out when i talk so i chose to stand out by doing something else.. That will make people remember..
'this girl used to do this thing...'